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Family interference vs helpfulness

Please help me understand Western Culture and family dynamics. Is it ok or not for family to point out your flaws and give you helpful direction? If not, why not? [more inside]
posted by Coffeetyme on Dec 29, 2020 - 29 answers

How to deal with fallout from sobriety?

I was a heavy drinker. I noticed this and scaled back significantly. I then moved back with my parents due to Covid job issues and stopped drinking entirely since around June. Drinking has never impacted my career or my life in my opinion but my friends (who don't live in town or see me) insisted I get help. I went to a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction, who did not believe I needed rehab or further addiction therapy. My friends insist I do, do not believe I'm sober and that I lied to the psychiatrist. They've also convinced my family, though that has been largely repaired. Everyone has cut off contact with me completely. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2020 - 43 answers

仕途风流最新章节_仕途风流最新章节目录,贱妇汤佳丽最新章节_贱妇汤佳丽最新章节免费阅读How to handle my toxic family members death as a recovering codependent

My grandmother recently passed away. She was the remaining matriarch of an ultra toxic family system, that started with her and my grandfather, and has traveled through that entire family, sparing some, but affecting everyone. My mother perhaps worst of all. So toxic, that when I recognized my own codependency issues after my divorce a few years ago, I removed myself completely from family functions. I see my mom, but that is my only connection to that extended family currently. I have chosen not to see them as they constantly violate my boundaries and only seem capable of toxic interaction. (I have had more than a few verbal encounters with one aunt in particular). Now they are having a service for my grandmother this weekend... when the hospitals are full (so full I just had a friend die today in an ER waiting room trying to get medical attention) and covid numbers are at an all time high. I’ve already canceled hosting Christmas that is usually my favorite event of the year because of this. My mother is returning to old ways and attempting to guilt me into attending by telling me how poorly I will be talked about if not, and pushing at all of my delicately placed boundaries. [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Dec 16, 2020 - 30 answers

How to make this Christmas more Christmasy?

We are hosting a small family gathering on Christmas day, in line with our government's COVID recommendations. We will be 5 adults and two children total (one preteen and one younger child). What touches can I add to the celebration to make this Christmas pariculary merry and full of Christmas cheer? [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Dec 12, 2020 - 14 answers

Late to the party but that means the problem is well hashed out right?

Semi lock down looks to extend well past even Ukrainian Xmas this year. What will be the easiest internet meeting thing I can get my extended family to use in order to have a virtual Xmas dinner? [more inside]
posted by Mitheral on Dec 11, 2020 - 9 answers

How do I explain my OCD to my family?

I was recently diagnosed with OCD but have yet to tell my parents. I want to tell them because I’d like to ask for their financial help in order to access appropriate treatment. I'm struggling with how to explain my OCD to them so they'll take it seriously, particularly since I struuggle with covert/non-visible compulsions. Any advice or experiences with disclosing OCD to family? Are there any resources I could share with them about OCD that might help them understand it? [more inside]
posted by runnerfive on Dec 7, 2020 - 8 answers

What to do when your family member is being COVID reckless?

Our healthy, active but elderly and still at-risk dad is really pushing it with social activities. He wants to go to a big dinner party next week, but that means my sister wants to cancel Christmas because she feels he might spread COVID (and she feels like this is a way to incentivize not going to the party.) Now he is upset and feels we don’t understand why this dinner party so important to him and that we are ganging up on him as a family. How do we handle this with my dad that won’t ruin everything? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Dec 2, 2020 - 61 answers

The Story of Their Life

Looking for a site to collect memories and photos of a loved one in critical condition [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Nov 29, 2020 - 9 answers

I'm a divorced dad. How do I make Christmas special for my children?

My two children are sixteen months and three years old. They are with me from 2:45 PM daily until 5:45 the following morning, when I drop them off with their mother; I also have them around the clock every other weekend. [more inside]
posted by jwhite1979 on Nov 29, 2020 - 23 answers

How to convince mom I'm not depressed about spending Christmas alone

Im thinking of not flying home for Christmas this year and spending the holidays mostly alone, which is a little sad but I'm not super depressed about it. How can I help my mom not worry about that? [more inside]
posted by mekily on Nov 23, 2020 - 19 answers

COVID and Domestic Travel in Canada

I am tentatively planning to temporarily move from across Canada for the winter and have some questions about how to do it most safely. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2020 - 11 answers

Web development for Sewists

My mother loves to sew and make crafts, and she wants me to set up an online "store" just for family that doesn't take money, but points instead. She wants to be able to put her creations up just like a store, but assign them a point value based on the amount of time it took her to make it instead of an amount of money, and then give selected people a number of points that they can buy things with. Does such a shopping cart, or module / plugin thereof, already exist? [more inside]
posted by Soliloquy on Nov 18, 2020 - 6 answers

Remote-based, trauma informed family therapist

Looking for recommendations! An immediate family I care about, one parent and four adult children, is interested in processing some family trauma and building a healthy relationship to each other as adults. One member suggested engaging a family therapist who could help as a sort of meeting chairperson and resource. Can you suggest a good one? Ideally North America based, and money, within reason, is not a limiting factor. Someone with a well-fleshed-out website is likely to be useful as the family member proposing this project will have something to read before making initial contact. LOTS of suggestions encouraged!
posted by The Last Sockpuppet on Nov 18, 2020 - 7 answers

concentric tree rings of supportive humans

How different is living five hours from close family compared to living within 30-90min? Future single parent edition. [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Nov 9, 2020 - 21 answers

How Do I say No to a Family Funeral

A relative died, and now I have to figure out how to navigate the "No, it's a Global Pandemic, and I can't come..." [more inside]
posted by RedEmma on Nov 7, 2020 - 29 answers

Tired of Parent seeking my approval and praise. Coping advice.

My aged father seeks my approval and expects praise from me about his not great amateur poetry and I'm unable, for various reasons, to engage with his needs. I can't treat my parent like a child.. More inside. [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Nov 5, 2020 - 38 answers

Married suburban queer wants community?

I’m a bi/pan cis woman married to a cis man with two biological kids, living in the burbs. I’m not exactly closeted, but neither am I super out. I’m wondering if I can find a queer community irl or online, and I have a couple specific questions. [more inside]
posted by House of Leaves of Grass on Oct 26, 2020 - 9 answers

Do I have to resign myself to never having a pet?

I love cats and dogs and have investigated adopting either a cat or a dog on numerous occasions but there's one thing that always stops me: that my elderly family live abroad and I need to be prepared to travel back there at short notice, and for an open ended period of time, if necessary. Can people help me problem-solve this? [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser on Oct 23, 2020 - 26 answers

Family distancing in a time of Coronavirus

How to better handle the situation and communicate with my stepson since I don't want him to come back to my house right now ? [more inside]
posted by nicolin on Oct 22, 2020 - 21 answers

Building Better Family Relationships

You are someone with strong family ties. I would like to know how you did so and how to emulate that. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Oct 20, 2020 - 14 answers

i'm 43. can my stepdad still formally adopt me?

my stepdad has been my dad since i was three. he's the one who raised me. lately i'm thinking a lot about having him adopt me legally, but can we still do that at my age?
posted by megan_magnolia on Oct 17, 2020 - 10 answers

How to come to grips with favouritism from critical parents

Since my parents moved closer, they’ve been criticising my choices non-stop and showing blatant favouritism to my sibling. I’m realising that the relationship I thought I had with them was glossed over due to distance and I’m struggling to come to terms with the changes without causing irreparable damage to the relationship. [more inside]
posted by Riverside on Oct 6, 2020 - 14 answers

A Thanksgiving bubble to be thankful for

Dear askmefites, I’d like to have a Thanksgiving in these pandemic times that I’ll be grateful for, not regretful of, so could you please check my thinking and help me navigate social expectations around forming a family bubble for the holiday? [more inside]
posted by starelephant on Oct 5, 2020 - 13 answers

Family Halloween costume ideas needed (two moms and a baby edition)

My wife and I have an adorable 4 month old and want to dress our little family up in a group costume but we’re coming up blank. I’m chubby and femme, my wife is pretty androgynous and would definitely dye her short hair any rainbow colour for the right costume; our baby is a generic cute baby. [more inside]
posted by Sweetchrysanthemum on Sep 22, 2020 - 30 answers

Supporting disabled family

My brother has austism and OCD. The OCD has gotten a lot worse since the beginning of the pandemic. We're not sure if he's still taking his meds. Can you tell us about how you support family that's disabled and lives semi-independently? [more inside]
posted by marfa, texas on Sep 21, 2020 - 3 answers

Names for mother's boyfriend/unmarried "father" in laws..

I'm writing a story featuring a character who is the boyfriend of the mother of my protagonist and am looking for as many terms for this role as I can find. [more inside]
posted by mani on Sep 14, 2020 - 32 answers

Home High Holy Days Traditions

Jews of Metafilter, what home traditions of the High Holy Days do you remember most fondly from your childhood? What traditions did you create for yourself and your family as an adult? [more inside]
posted by carrioncomfort on Sep 11, 2020 - 13 answers

Black art celebrating family love

Can you suggest any artworks (painting or sculpture), created by a Black artist, and celebrating the love between family or community members? [more inside]
posted by nouvelle-personne仕途风流最新章节_仕途风流最新章节目录,贱妇汤佳丽最新章节_贱妇汤佳丽最新章节免费阅读 on Sep 9, 2020 - 7 answers

Wild Doll Chase

My late MIL made a thing that was likely sold as part of a random lot in her husband’s estate auction. What can I do to try to track it down? [more inside]
posted by St. Hubbins on Sep 7, 2020 - 2 answers

Estranged family resisting estrangement

My partner and I are trying to figure out how to respond to an estranged family member. This family member is making persistent attempts to re-establish contact and has ramped things up after a recent death in the family. What can we do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 5, 2020 - 28 answers

Does anyone remember this vintage blog about family xmas drinking?

I remember but cannot find a link to an old and entertaining weblog -- and I'm just interested in his yearly holiday photo albums. [more inside]
posted by theredpen on Sep 3, 2020 - 7 answers

Talking with child about choosing bewteen parents

I have a 12 year old, and am separated from the other parent (OP). 50/50 custody. OP has started talking to me about moving out of state, with the child. I disagree, but in the end I'm interested in what is best for the child. I think from comments from the child, that OP has started to discuss this with the child as well. So how should I step into these murky waters - if I should at all? Thank you! [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast on Sep 2, 2020 - 19 answers

What are your family traditions?

We have two young kids (1.5 and 5.5) and think we should start to establish some annual family traditions. What are your family traditions for holidays, solstices, or anything else? Thanks!
posted by kdern on Aug 30, 2020 - 50 answers

Is it wrong if I don’t let my toxic aunt see my baby?

I’m pregnant and I want to cut my aunt out of my life entirely but don’t know if I’m being too harsh. If I should cut her out, what’s the best way to do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2020 - 31 answers

Advice on multi-generational living

We are exploring having my recently-widowed mother in law move in with us in the next year. I adore her and we have planned that someday this would happen, and now it's maybe here. We are starting to talk through this, and I'm wondering - what are some things you wish you'd known or talked about before setting up a multi-generational home? [more inside]
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty on Aug 11, 2020 - 12 answers

How to rebuild trust during a pandemic

My senior mother is taking risks to see her boyfriend during the pandemic and lied to me about it when I expressed my concerns. I'm upset and afraid that this has permanently damaged our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2020 - 46 answers

How to find a non-terrible doctor?

I'm looking for a new primary care physician in NYC. They have to be a really, REALLY, REALLY great one. Really, the best. [more inside]
posted by colorblock sock on Aug 9, 2020 - 2 answers

how to set boundaries with a child who isn't mine

My step brother's niece is... kind of a jerk. I feel awful feeling this way, but I also need to learn how to set boundaries when I interact with her so as not to internally rage and then feel bummed out. Can anyone help? [more inside]
posted by nayantara on Aug 3, 2020 - 39 answers

Mother is estranged from siblings and I am not sure what to do?

My mother cut off all her siblings in her life because they would always quarrel and become jealous of each other - they grew up in a dysfunctional home. It has been almost seven years since she has stopped talking to them and I feel saddened still, as the family gatherings I go to are rare now and not the same. This is rather a sensitive topic in nature, which is why I wanted it anonymous. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2020 - 10 answers

Deciding what to do for the next plague year

I’m working for a company that has gone remote for the duration of the pandemic (and it sounds like possibly longer). Trying to decide what to actually do, seeing as we know we don’t need to be in our current city for at least a year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2020 - 7 answers

Friends and family can be a tough crowd

I've noticed that when other people (and me) accomplish something that was hard, some friends and family don't even mention the accomplishment even though they've been aware of the work getting there over months or years. Why is that? [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind on Jul 16, 2020 - 9 answers

Living with a toxic family member

I am living with someone who is becoming increasingly, needlessly nitpicky and critical of me. I do not have the choice to leave until September. How do I get through the next few months without it wrecking my mental health? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Jul 12, 2020 - 49 answers

Want to either have it out or tattle to their mom

Someone close to me is saying bizarre, inaccurate, hypocritical and frankly hateful things on social media attached to their real name and it's really distracting me and I find I can't stop thinking about it. I don't want to "start drama" but I also can't seem to let it go, I am a talker and that's the only way I can seem to get around things is getting them off my chest. But just talking to someone who doesn't care either way isn't helping. How are you all dealing with similar issues? [more inside]
posted by bleep on Jun 29, 2020 - 6 answers

How to get help with life issues during a pandemic.

I'm not holding it together very well and was struggling even before the pandemic hit. I'm overwhelmed and alone and need practical help, preferably that's not just "call this phone number." [more inside]
posted by cabingirl on Jun 25, 2020 - 35 answers

Depression and Seeking Help

How do I tell my fiancé when he already has enough going on? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jun 15, 2020 - 14 answers

These parents must be... DOCUMENTED!仕途风流最新章节_仕途风流最新章节目录,贱妇汤佳丽最新章节_贱妇汤佳丽最新章节免费阅读

My parents are now in their late sixties, and I'd like to record interviews with them that I could keep forever. I think it would be really neat to be able to show them to my own grandkids one day, for example. There's only one problem: I'm a complete ignoramus about recording and storing video. How should I record, lightly edit, and store digital video recordings of my parents? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris on Jun 14, 2020 - 7 answers

How can I manage family socialising better post-lockdown?

I'm close to my family and, until lockdown, met up with some of them once a week for an evening meal. Lockdown is easing in my country and they want to start doing this again. I'd like to make it more enjoyable and less stressful for me. How can I do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2020 - 5 answers

I am terrified to exercise

What it says on the tin. I grew up in a sporty family where everyone exercised for fun, except me. Many years later, I learned I had pretty bad asthma, and that's why physical exertion always felt like death. Now I am struggling with my weight and I *need* to exercise, but I am super-embarrassed, and I need to get over that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2020 - 39 answers

Trying to navigate distancing from racist family

I can no longer ignore or pretend I can change the incredible racism of my aging parents. They are blocked from contacting me for now but I will probably need to continue this... indefinitely? I am overwhelmed by both anger and grief. Please share any advice you may have for navigating through this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2020 - 17 answers

A picnic table in Breezewood, PA? Probably not.

Where can my family meet halfway between DC and Pittsburgh for our first socially-distanced visit? Ideally it would be an uncrowded park or other outdoor space with good seating and some assurance we'd have room to sit, visit, and eat. [more inside]
posted by kinsey on Jun 4, 2020 - 4 answers

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